Posted by: Mark Nichols
04 Apr 2007
I thought I should share some of the assumptions under which the site is operating. I use the word "assumptions" here only to indicate the possibility that I'm wrong about these statements... which is misleading. These "assumptions" are facts. But in my attempt to appear civil, yea, enlightened, I'm trying to project an air of sophistication that breeds open communication and mutual edification. If this sophistication thing doesn't work to convince you, I'm perfectly willing to pound you into submission. Just let me know which method is applicable to you.
● DimeBrothers.com will grow to dominate the world, mostly because the writers on the site are insanely good looking, but also because of their deft writing skills. (We haven't posted pictures of ourselves because that would likely crash the servers with all the traffic we'd be getting... and yes, I just changed from 3rd person to 1st person in this bullet point, which is evidence of my willingness to "work outside the box" regarding that grammar thing. Insane amounts of deftness.)
● We realize that Assumption #1 (dominating the world) is a tone and theme that many writers, websites, and blogs try to capture, and that in a sense it's a little overplayed. However, we assume that our readers are of a more intelligent genetic stock, and thus will approve of our adoption of that tone and theme since we are deserving of it (see assumption #3).
● We are deserving of a pompous and world-dominating tone because we are going beyond the common step of just merely assuming it. We are stating our right to it publicly. And thus we have one-upped the competition.
● We have the right to modify any of these assumptions, contradict anything we've written in the past, and to pretend that we have never varied or wavered in any way. Of course it wouldn't be pretend, because if we say we've never changed our minds, we in fact would never have changed our minds (according to assumption #4).
Feel free to comment on these "assumptions" (*wink wink*). I know that if you are open-minded you will find them to be reasonable. (And remember, if you are close-minded, we can open your mind up for you.)