Here's a quote from a USnews.com retirement advice article featured on Yahoo:

"A 55-year-old earning $80,000 a year could accumulate $444,610 by age 65 if he or she tucked away 27.5 percent of pay each year, according to recent T. Rowe Price calculations. The estimate assumes a 3 percent annual raise, a 3 percent employer 401(k) match, and 8 percent compounded annual returns."

What's the average salary of 55-year-olds? What's the average salary of 55-year-olds seeking to save for retirement? Maybe then you can get to that $80k salary number.

3% employer 401k match - this is probably high compared to what most people get. And most probably don't receive a match at all. (Granted, the article probably isn't meant for self-employed carpenters, but it just sounds so pretentious.)

8% annual returns?! Really? What planet are you on? What year is it for you? How on earth is that an honest or reasonable assumption to make?

On June 12 when I publicly hoped that Ubaldo Jimenez would get to 30 wins, he was 12-1 with a 1.16 ERA.

On July 20th, when I wondered about my jinxing ability, he was 15-1 with a 2.38 ERA.

Today, on August 30th, he is 17-5 with a 2.71 ERA. Good luck getting to 20 wins!

Classic non-apology from Lori Berenson, convicted of aiding terrorists in Peru.

"If my coming to Peru has meant harm to the country, I am sorry and I regret it."

And: "If my participation, although secondary, contributed to violence in society, I am deeply sorry and I regret it."

IF?!

USA Today article on government salaries and benefits. It shows the average federal compensation being much higher than the private sector's average. What to me is more disturbing is the comparison between federal and private compensation growth.

ESPN widgets are a major FAIL, so I changed the front page so we'd have room for two videos instead of a video and an ESPN widget.

Now if we'd only update them every once in awhile!

I'm a fan of David Zinczenko's articles on Yahoo!. Here's the latest. They're about foods you might like and the terrifying ingredients they contain. Well-written, well-researched, etc., etc. In other words, they're the opposite of anything ever posted on this site! : )

Interesting case of people making brash decisions on (obviously) limited information. Article Link. The agriculture department asked for a resignation over some comments that a person made 24 years ago while in a different job. The evidence was from a video clip of the woman speaking, and no one apparently first tried to contact the farmers affected by her "racism".

Sorry for not providing more detail - I'm being lazy (just like everyone who reacted first and asked questions later).

Since making the Ubaldo post, he's had 3 no-decisions (none before that point in the season), and his ERA has gone from 1.16 to 2.38.

Should I now hope he doesn't win another game this season to get him back on track?

An article on families that know how to save money. The theme, in my opinion, is really: "make a ton of money so you have the ability to save by either 1) owning your own (already successful) business, or 2) having both parents work. It would also help to have just 1 or no kids."

Although I love to pick on articles like these, there are actually some principles of saving that work no matter your income.

Would love to see Ubaldo Jimenez get to 30 wins this year. Of course, that'd take a miracle.

Hint of Lime chips appear on the worst chips list. Eek.

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/worst-chips-and-dips

See how fast you can type:

Typing Test Online

Another winner comment from the web. In an article featured on Yahoo! about MacGyver and awesome things he's done, many in the comment section fell back to the standard posts - "you misspell words and are thus stupid." "Obama this" and "Bush that".

This loo loo is a win:
"In a future episode [MacGyver] uses the binary code to not only delete posts that declare someone stupid just because they misspell a word, but also shock them with their own keyboard, killing all 3 remaining brain cells."

You're wrong.
We had a class of 133.

I don't want to see another Yahoo featured article on someone getting perfect attendance all the way through high school graduation. Didn't we have two people in our class of 130 that did that?

"When are we going to have an environmental catastrophe that only kills mosquitoes?"

I think it was that Leno wasn't getting the ratings. I'm not sure how Conan was doing. Plus, NBC was losing millions on having to move newcasts from 10 p.m. to 11 p.m. and restructuring ad deals already in place, and losing money because you can still sell good ads for Leno at 11 or at 10, but you make more money on tv ads during news at 10 than 11. I may not have the facts precisely right here, but you get the idea. Ad money.

Given I haven't tried to understand the whole flap that occurred when Leno got The Tonight Show back from Conan, but to me it still doesn't seem Leno is getting a "fair shake" in all of this. I thought NBC forced him to retire so that Conan could take over. And when the ratings were bad, Leno got his old job back. And he's a bad guy why?

Conan basically said on 60 Minutes that he doesn't see how Leno was getting screwed by NBC... well, certainly everyone has made him out to be a bad guy, right? So he's getting screwed that way. And the ratings weren't there for Conan, so he shouldn't be surprised by getting booted.

And by the way, David Letterman is not that funny.

Yahoo Movies article mentions modern movie classics (90s and 00s) to watch. The Bourne Ultimatum is included.

Yahoo article on taxes. It says 47% of households won't pay federal income taxes in 2009.

Haven't joined a fantasy baseball league, yet. First time not joining in years. I think I'm going to appreciate the freedom.

Energy Efficient Yahoo article

The above link is an article discussing how to get the US government's energy efficient stamp of approval.

The problem being they don't verify energy efficiency. The article claims once the product is launched testing is then done. Classic "get the program set up and we'll figure it out later" organization. Granted, checking after product launch is probably still important because product specs could change before launching in market.

But this feels eerily similar to the recent health bill passage. Set it up, and we'll figure it out later.

Hopefully things work out, though, for the better.... I still haven't reviewed the health bill and all of its possible ramifications (and probably neither has Congress...).

Syracuse lost today to Butler in the NCAA tourney. Butler was under-seeded as a 5 seed - they finished the year in the top 10 in the polls. So if writers and coaches think they're good, why would the NCAA committee think they aren't? Maybe not 2-seed good but a 3 or 4.

Anyway, Butler got away with lots of body-ing up on defense. Annoying. And I wish Coach Boeheim would get his guys playing with a sense of urgency throughout the whole game. They only scored 1 point in the first 6:30 of the game. Crazy.

Guess the Big East was overrated this year. Still... go West Virginia! There's still hope to salvage something for the conference!

Headline: New York bar to set menu prices like stocks

Comment from James: So would it be illegal if I short-sell my beer to the drunk guy sitting next to me?

I love comments people leave after articles. Recently Yahoo opened up commenting on news articles. Here are some winners:

Headline: Indian military to weaponize world's hottest chili

Comment from Timothy N: Weaponize Chili????? This friggin rules!!!........now they need to weaponize beer so I can start my life of crime!!!!

Comment from James M: Weaponizing food has been around for centuries. The Romans weaponized my mother-in-law's tuna casserole to defeat the world.

The movie Bullitt, starring Steve McQueen as Frank Bullitt. Famous for a car chase that is totally overrated. Not great dialogue. Interesting "get-a-witness-that-the-mob-wants-dead-to-testify" plot that has been rehashed by a zillion movies since. If this movie were redone today it'd be about 25 minutes because there are a bunch of shots of people walking that just waste time (although I suppose the director was trying to set the mood or ambiance or something).

Not worth watching, even from the "trying to watch old movies and get 'cultured'" angle.

Syracuse lost. Seems like they've lost 10 games this season, even though they've only lost 3. They take too much time off in the middle of games.

Can't wait.

Syracuse lost. They didn't play with any determination except for about 2 minutes.

see more Funny Graphs

Happy belated Groundhog Day!

CNN article on products with big markups.

The world needs to know that hand sanitizer is not a substitute for washing your hands. If you pick through a pile of poo then use hand sanitizer, all you have is sanitized poo on your hands. You still need to wash them.

The principle holds when considering filters and boiling water. If you have an iffy water source and you just boil your water, all you have is sanitized dirty water. If you don't want to drink dirt, you need to filter it, too.

Just sayin'.

The author of the most overrated book in the history of the world died recently.
The author: J.D. Salinger.
The book: The Catcher in the Rye.

Here's an article about who the Republicans may try to trot out as 2012 presidential competition to President Obama. Thune, a senator from South Dakota, is from Murdo.

This is relevant only because on a cross country trip in a 1990 Ford Bronco II, the Dime Brothers had their transmission go out and we ended up trading the Bronco in for a dumpy station wagon at a Ford dealership there. We were back on the road in a couple of hours.

Murdo was definitely a small town (population ~700).

Headline: White House reportedly mulls bank fee in budget.

The justification is that taxpayers have lost money because the government has had to bail out many banks. So this fee would hurt all banks (not fair to well-managed banks) and in my opinion, would eventually be passed on to bank users.

So we'd end up paying for paying to save some banks. Double dipping bailouts, under the guise of helping us.

Granted I barely know anything about this proposal, but it doesn't pass the smell test.

Thanks to Zigga for this link.

Here's an article about a 50-car pileup. One of the comments: "This was a 2 car accident-the other 48 were personal injury lawyers."

I searched the Wikipedia entries for AOL Instant Messenger and MSN Messenger to no avail for a start date for video chat. Both entries suggest a start date of around 2004 or 2005 for video conferencing. This does not jive with my webcam chat memories. Could it have been 2002? Certainly no later than 2002 was I video chatting on AIM.

Science fiction...except that for in 1/2000 or soon after, I was doing video chat via aol instant messenger and probably on msn messenger, too. For free. So I suppose that 10 yrs ago it was more like science non-fiction.

Paul, would you like to comment on the following quote from this article:

"And Skype, which provides video chats for anyone with an Internet connection, lets us see and hear people who might be halfway across the world – for free.

"That’s like the revolutionary thing that’s happening right now," Levinson points out. "The idea that you can talk to someone and see their face and have a video conversation with them that doesn’t cost anything – that would have been science fiction 10 years ago."

Can Tiger's infidelity count against him in the Federer vs. Woods debate?

Why are people surprised Vince Young is winning football games for the Tennessee Titans? This isn't the first time he's brought them back from the brink of what could've been a really poor season. And his ability to win was unbelievable in college.

Here's one of the stupidest articles in the history of mankind, courtesy of a Yahoo blog: NASCAR Athlete

LeBron is encouraging NBA players to abandon the number 23 out of respect for Michael Jordan. He's going to switch to number 6 himself. I think that this allows people an escape for people to switch since Jordan's image is slowly fading into that of a jerk (especially since his hall of fame speech). And if everyone avoids 23, maybe in the future people will think it's because of Jordan's jerkiness instead of his basketball prowess.
Probably over-thinking this.

Extreme laptops ranging from ultra-light to super fast.

New (and funny) NFL logos from ESPN.com Page 2's Kurt Snibbe.

Imagine that - the hockey season has started. I thought they were still in the preseason.

Baseball still has my attention.

Funny comics.

Smithsonian article about Jackson Pollock's breakout painting, Mural. He apparently painted his name in the background of the work... but I think I can find my name in the painting too, which makes him an über-genius since he didn't even know me back in 1943!

Too bad Federer couldn't win his 6th US Open in a row. Woulda been nice to put to bed a stupid record from the 20s about winning so many grand slams in a row, back when you only had to put on your shoes to win the competition.

Except that they messed up the 1989 references a bunch (Vanilla Ice hadn't happened yet).

The movie "17 Again" was actually pretty decent. Kudos to the script writer.

"Illiterate? Write me for help."

Not good. Interesting, but that's the best I've got. A few plot holes, even given the fantasy/sci fi nature of the flik. Unique story line; at least it wasn't about a super-secret government-funded special squad of super fighters doing whatever. I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to leave the movie for a minute to jog over to the fridge, or pick up a phone call or something. Especially not recommended for those who get queasy even at the sight of a needle or a little surgery.

Just had spam posted on this message board. I guess it's just guessing what the code word is. I eliminated it, like I did gluten from my diet.

To anyone who says there's not stuff to fix in the health care system (I'm not just talking about coverage), please read this article, which sites all sorts of current wasteful health care spending.

I'm concerned with the recent trend of fewer and fewer bags of Tostitos Hint of Lime Chips on the shelves of the grocery stores I visit. In fact, I have been unable to locate the chips in any of the 4 stores I frequent in the past week. I am concerned, and you should be, too. Surely the end times are upon us!

Pretty good article on bad driving habits. The gist is, "Focus on driving" and "'Doing your thing' doesn't matter when driving is a community experience. Pay attention."

Article link to a story about police brutality against groundhogs. What really makes the story are the comments. Hilarious.

Article link about condo owners finding reason to hold up a development and claiming they were right and settling for a bazillion dollars even though they were offered way more than value originally because they were going to drag their feet and hold up the show just because they wanted to live the new "American Dream" of getting rich quick without justification because why should anyone earn it anymore when you can find a quarterback or corporation or hospital to sue where the legal headaches you create are worse than the parting of money?

(Would the above be a run-on sentence? Actually, would it be a run-on question?) : )

With all the good news and favorable stock market returns recently, I'm glad to know we're equally adept at being ahead of the curve on the way up, just like we were hearing gloom and doom for a year before we really tanked.

Today is 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9.

12:34 and 56 seconds on July 8th 2009. Of course, if we did our dates like the rest of the world, we'd have another shot at this on the 7th of August.

So this North Korean ship suspected of carrying arms, perhaps to Myanmar, has been traveling for longer than the Mayflower at this point. It's suspected that it's almost out of gas. And I keep expecting to see a headline saying something like: US aid organization refuels stranded ship. Don't we already help North Korea a bunch with food?

"Stocks rally after not losing as much as expected"

The width default on YouTube videos when embedded is pretty wide. So you can copy and paste the embed code, but before hitting submit, can change the width and height to new numbers. Below isn't quite right - too small - so maybe a 350 width and a 283 height.

Funny T-Shirt

Saw the image on an ESPN.com profile and Google-searched it and found it's probably from a t-shirt. Fittingly, today is Friday the 12th.

Going out on a limb here and saying that Orlando has no chance. They shot 62.5% from the field (an NBA finals record) and still only won 108-104. They're now down in the series 2 games to 1. But if it takes a miracle to win 1 game, can you really expect 3 more miracles?

Here is the starting lineup and batting averages for your San Diego Padres, as of mid-game today:

San Diego Padres
Hitters AB R H RBI BB SO AVG
T Gwynn CF 1 0 1 0 0 0 .313
D Eckstein 2B 1 0 0 0 0 0 .251
B Giles RF 1 0 1 0 0 0 .196
A Gonzalez 1B 0 0 0 0 1 0 .278
K Kouzmanoff 3B 1 0 0 0 0 0 .217
C Headley LF 1 0 0 0 0 0 .236
H Blanco C 1 0 0 0 0 0 .194
J Wilson SS 1 0 0 0 0 0 .161
J Peavy P 0 0 0 0 0 0 .095

Pretty bad. Of course, the only reason I care is 'cause I've got Peavy on my fantasy team.

Congrats to Roger Federer for winning the French Open and completing the "grand slam". It wasn't Nadal that he beat, but at least it was the guy who beat Nadal.

So I'm watching Rocky IV on Ion tonight, the big fight scene at the end, second round. And what has Ion done??? They've edited the lead-up to the punch Rocky throws to cut Drago, such that they've drained most of the emotional buildup! Certainly whoever did that hack job hasn't watched the movie enough to appreciate the most amazing scene in the movie!

Perfect Attendance Article

This Washington Post article posits that perfect attendance for 13 years of public education is practically unheard of.

I think there were something like 2 who had it in my graduating class alone (in a class of 135). Big whoop.

NNNOooooo...

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles was cancelled.

At least the new Terminator movie comes out this week.

I was in Chicago last night for that Game 6. So I left my hotel to catch the spirit of the restaurant scene and the excitement of the moment. I went to Harry Carry's. Lot's of fear any time Allen touched the ball. Lot's of fan coaching going on. But it felt like no one would have minded if the game kept going. And it was awesome as the place erupted when Noah dribbled down the court and slammed it home to clinch the game.

How on earth does Rajon Rondo not get kicked out of the game going on tonight? He threw Hinrich into the scorer's table. He's absolutely destroying his reputation with his dirty play over the last bunch of games.

I'm too lazy to read the article, but perhaps we don't have a recovery plan for a digital disaster because we don't need one? Each agency backs up data. And most agencies keep paper copies of what they have stored digitally. Perhaps what he's saying is that we don't have a recovery plan for an electricity disaster?

So the US is realizing it is facing digital threats finally. Here's a quote from an article on Yahoo: "David Powner, director of technology issues for the Government Accountability Office, told Congress last month that the U.S. has no recovery plan for a digital disaster."

Article Link

Doesn't it seem like something should have been put in place around 2000 when we were facing the "Y2K" issue? Different type of problem, but perhaps similar consequences, right?

Flynn is gone. Signed with an agent.

The only pro sports team I'm crazy for is the Yankees. Growing up I was rabid for the Redskins in football. When I was really young I kind of rooted for the Celtics and Bruins in basketball and hockey (in a box-score only kind of way). Since I lived in Utah I sometimes root for the Jazz.

I'm kind of hoping I can find more passion for an NBA team, and maybe Flynn will bring that to me once he's in the NBA. Of course, I hoped similarly of Carmelo Anthony. But the passion ain't there.

Well, word on my street is that if Flynn isn't top 10, he'll stay, but that Harris and Devendorf are likely gone (probably to Europe) because they may not have the academic credentials to graduate so there's not much motivation to stick around.

Turns out the below article is off a bit. Syracuse released that the three were testing the draft waters without getting an update from them first. It seems Flynn is almost surely gone, and Harris wasn't planning on it but might try it out now. Not sure about Devendorf....

Flynn testing the NBA draft waters

Hopefully Flynn comes back to Syracuse. Realistically the other two will be back.

Comparison article between Facebook and Walmart. Facebook has the potential to crush a lot of different web competitors (evite.com, classmates.com, email sites, Google even?). Nice article.

"Please turn off your electronic devices."

You've heard it before on flights, but now you know the reasons: Slate article.

The Onion had a couple funny things to say; these from its 3/26/2009 edition.

In a story titled "Everything Taking Too Long":

Survey results revealed that 54% of respondents are not getting any younger over here, nearly 10 percent don't understand what the big holdup is, and 23% are not only ready but have been ready for the past half hour, so let's go already. Several thousand respondents hung up their telephones before answering all of the poll's questions.

While citizens said that a few things, such as lunch, dinner, and sleep, could afford to go on for much longer, everything else reportedly needs to get moving pronto as people have places to be.

"'Nope,' said 37-year-old Glenn Costabile, who entered and then immediately exited a crowded emergency room in downtown Detroit. 'No f-in' way.'"


----------

In their national news highlights: "ARLINGTON, VA--While cutting open and eating a pineapple, Dave Condran, 26, jokingly acted like a caveman, though deep down he really felt like a caveman."

Meat bracket article on ESPN Page 2

In a travesty of justice, Chicken Tails takes out Chicken Wings, then Lamb Chops, before finally losing to Bacon. In the final, however, Bacon loses to Standing Rib Roast.

Here's a link to an article on the recent mini-baby-boom.

The orange that ruled the world..

In honor of Syracuse's favorable tournament seed, please view the above video. I imagine it refers to an orange in some way related to Syracuse.

For those that don't know Jay Cutler is the quarterback for the Denver Broncos. The rumor is that the coach of the Broncos floated a trade offer to another team to get a different quarterback. Cutler has gotten upset about this and may now prefer to not play for the Broncos.

Most of the commentary on this saga has said that the coach is the coach and is in charge and Cutler should grow up. They usually add that every player is expendable and it's just the nature of the business. The Broncos brass claimed this as their position, all the while denying that they had initiated a trade offer.

I was waiting for at least one analyst to point out that over the past 15 years, all analysts have gushed over teams that cherish guys with "heart" or guys that are good in the clubhouse or teams that behave more like families. Such players and teams usually have a higher standard of play and I believe are more likely to win championships. So it really irks me that everyone has 100% avoided this line of reasoning in their analysis.

If the Broncos floated Cutler as trade bait, they should apologize. If they didn't, they could easily explain to Cutler that anyone is free to offer a trade to them. THIS IS AN EASY SOLUTION TO THIS FAMILY DRAMA!!!

That the Broncos haven't solved this yet suggests that they did indeed float Cutler as trade bait and that their new coach may be a bit too young to realize that family dynamics are an important part of a well-run team.

This article on school lunches in New Mexico is bothering me. Some people are up in arms over feeding kids a cheese sandwich. Ummm... why is the parent not sending their kids to school with peanut butter and jelly? It would probably cost less per day than the subsidized meals they're trying to pay for, and it would save the school district mounds of cash.

Schools should probably only be on the books for selling milk or juice since kids can't reasonably bring refrigerated items to school.

Time to start teaching parents responsibility... I bet they can afford cable TV or a cell phone!

Seriously people, if you haven't checked out the link on the left to "Strange Maps" you are missing out. Good stuff throughout that site.

I can't help but share this link and encourage you to read the comments. I was cracking up in the middle of the day reading them. It's about an older lady selling a baseball card at auction. Not sure how long the link will be active.

Here's an article (NY City Mystery Odor) about the discovery of the source of a mysterious odor infiltrating NYC. It's apparently some processing plants in NJ causing it. Now, I ain't no scientist or brain surgeon (could be, but I ain't), but was there ever any doubt that the smell was coming from New Jersey?

So the Cardinals totally outplayed Pittsburgh, and lost. But they beat the spread, so it's like both teams won! That last "fumble" was an incomplete pass by Warner. Should have given 'em another chance at the end zone.

So how is it that people think the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl? To me it's pretty clear that the Steelers will win, and beat the spread. Good defense, and a running game with Willie Parker back. Done and done.

Mark my words. The beard revolution has begun. Anyone notice how beards seem to have proliferated over the past 2 months? Take a look around and notice the beards!

The Bacon Explosion - food that's going after our heart. Literally.

Yummy.

Here's a quote from a BBC article: "The EU last week accused Microsoft of harming competition by bundling its IE browser with its Windows operating system."

Wouldn't want a business trying to beat out other businesses, now, would we? Same crap as the Windows Media Player issue.

Wouldn't want that company that sells window washer fluid to throw in ice scrapers too!

I would just like to point out, that to my knowledge, this ad is the first time Nike has combined a smiley face with their logo. It's about time. I thought they could go that route back in 1996 or so. Graphic at the end of the ad could be better, though. Oh well.

Congrats to Obama for his inauguration yesterday. I'm sure the position is difficult, especially since everyone thinks they know what is best yet he's the one who has to make the decisions.

I put the Gran Torino movie preview on the main page. Not that I fully endorse any rated R movie, but this thing looks pretty cool.

On another note, the ESPN widget is again having issues. Oh well. Maybe they'll fix it soon (their fault, not ours).

I read a headline on Yahoo earlier today that said Obama's stimulus plan would create 3 million new jobs. Now a headline on Yahoo says it would create 4.1 mm new jobs.

...

That's amazing progress in a couple of hours! Or did the AP or whoever came up with the headlines actually finally read the plans?

This is a pretty good article for the ol' holiday spirit and whatnot. About a football team caring for another down and out one.

This is from an injury report taken from ESPN.com's fantasy site:

"Williams (head) does not appear on Carolina's injury report, the Panthers' official site reports."

Isn't that great? That probably means it's connected to his body. Or that his mental illness has been cured! (I love misinterpreting these reports.)

You can sign in to Amazon using their "Secure Server". Sounds good. But when you're done you can't log out. There's no log out button. There's only a "Not [Name]" link to click. So to log out, I have to click a link that's not accurate? I AM myself!

Stupid.

Horrible news from Electrolux.

And Buster Olney has a reply on ESPN to people who think the Yankees have been giving up the young talent route. And he's right - the Yankees still have their young talent. Of course, that's not what we're saying... we're saying we just shouldn't be spending so much. Go ahead and sign guys, but to reasonable deals. Who?, you ask? The same guys, but for less! It's like giving a contract to A-Rod last year that no one was going to match. Why did you do it? No pitcher should be getting a higher yearly salary than Johan Santana. Ignoring incentives, Johan is going to average $22.9mm a year with his contract. Sabathia will average $23mm a year. Not smart.

Both of these signings are terrible, I feel. There just aren't that many guys out there to sign. Sure, we can sign these guys, but not for this kind of money. Even the Phillies are going a bit crazy, signing Ibanez for 10 million bucks a year. Absurd.

So the Yankees just signed A.J. Burnett to a huge pitching contract. Initial reaction? Too much money for a pitcher who hasn't consistently performed.

The New York Yankees just signed CC Sabathia. Initial reaction: too much money for a pitcher who hasn't consistently performed. Don't these GMs have any leveraging ability? CC isn't the best pitcher out there - why give him the best money?

I like that the Mets didn't give F-Rod the best reliever contract out there. Smart.

Just so you know, the use of a quote does not inherently mean the endorsement of everything ever said by the quote's originator. Just sayin'. In case there could be some confusion.

Here's a nice read about the housing meltdown.

uh... word.

"Weather is here, wish you were beautiful."

Today is the first time to my knowledge we are posting a video that isn't from YouTube. It's from Yahoo. And it's Bugs Bunny. Not his greatest, but there are a couple of funny parts. Enjoy!

Awhile ago we were making posts implying that much of the economic downturn was due to prediction/pessimism. At that time, it seemed the only thing happening was that the housing market was "slowing down" - houses weren't selling for as much. Then the credit problems became more apparent, gas hit a zillion dollars a gallon, and people started changing their driving habits. Now, banks have failed, investment firms have failed, the stock market has taken a dive, and gas prices are now really cheap.

Here is a long 3-paragraph quote from Tuesday Morning Quarterback that kind of gets at our previous ranting (taken from ESPN.com):

"Oh No! Gasoline Prices Are Falling! Just last winter, gas at $4 a gallon was said to represent a super-ultra emergency, and ExxonMobil profits were said to be obscene. Now gas is $2 a gallon and this is bad, according to CNBC economics bobbleheads, who last week warned the lower pump price will depress oil-company profits. Just last winter, rising consumer prices were said to represent a super-ultra emergency -- now that consumer prices are falling, that's supposed to be bad too, owing to the possibility of deflation. But innovation and rising labor productivity are supposed to drive down prices. Lower prices are a core goal of capitalist economics!

These points should serve as reminders that the mainstream media always present all economic news as bad. Higher interest rates? Bad for borrowers. Lower interest rates? Might cause inflation. Normally, the media's penchant for spinning all economic news as bad doesn't matter -- but right now it does, as pessimism more than logic seems to be driving the weak economy. Speaking as someone who pulled the election lever for Barack Obama (and whose daughter worked for the Obama campaign round the clock for months), I agree with John McCain's statement, "The fundamentals of the economy are strong." They are. McCain was right! Innovation is high. Labor productivity is high. There are no shortages of any resource or commodity. Pessimism is driving the downturn, and that pessimism is advanced by relentless media negativism.

Even the Wall Street Journal is spinning events in the most pessimistic light. A page one story declared, "Investors in the U.S. stock market have lost more than $9 trillion since its peak a year ago." But there is a distinction between a decline and a loss. The paper value of U.S. equities has declined $9 trillion since the peak in October 2007, but many investors have suffered no loss because they haven't sold. Many people's houses have declined in value in the last two years, but most people haven't lost a dime because they haven't sold -- just as many people's houses rose in value from 2002 to 2006 but most people did not gain, again because they did not sell. Doing nothing can be the smart move in a bear market, and those investors, individual or institutional, who have cleverly done nothing have incurred no losses and are likely to come out ahead in the long run. Yet some insist on claiming $9 trillion has been "lost." Exaggerating the negative only worsens the economic-confidence picture."

One other point - TMQ is in favor of requiring tax exempt organizations (or at least institutions of higher learning) to spend 5% of their endowments each year. In a down market wouldn't that be making those losses real, then? Yes, unless the endowment moolah is in fixed-return kinds of investments.

At this rate, our next article will be the 3rd birthday article...

: )

This was a headline on Yahoo just now:

"U.S. working to train Iraq to spend billion-dollar surplus"

That is hilarious. "Here, let's show you how to turn that surplus into a deficit! We're pros!"

From BBC's website: This Day in History
1929: The Wall Street Crash begins in New York with Black Thursday. It causes a worldwide economic depression.

...Interesting that today worldwide markets are violently continuing their recent downward trend. Seems like a lot of over-reaction in the markets, but as long as we actually come out the other side of this mess with better spending/credit habits, I'm not sure I mind all that much.

Let the record show that Pizza Hut sells the smallest chicken wings in the world.

Of course you ate lamb chops on the 9th. I had them on the 10th at a restaurant in NYC. You'd think we were twins or something.

An Eco Scooter featured on Yahoo gets 180 miles per gallon. I assume if you wear a helmet mileage drops to 150. If you carry a heavy set of house keys, kiss another 20 miles good-bye. : )

Weird name, but great food: Ruth's Chris Steak House.

It's expensive, but yummy. I had the lamb chops. They were awesome. !!!. Okay - so I'm not cut out to be a food critic writer person. But this is all you need to know: lamb chops at Ruth's Chris=yummy.

Apparently the restaurant was called Chris Steak House when Ruth bought it. That's why it has a weird name.

Thanks to Steve we now have RSS. What does RSS stand for, you ask? What does it do, you ask?

It's used to make sites look like they're really cool and modern. Note the RSS symbol in your browser's address bar (at least it's in mine - I'm using Mozilla).

The new Onion video on the home page is a little old, but still neat in its ignorance of the internet. I thought it fit with the second birthday article I posted recently.

Here's a link to Yahoo Answers that talks about that very topic, Steve. Link

I had just assumed the song was written by Timbaland. I guess not. But either way, I'm using the title from YouTube, as I usually do (passing the blame).

Your homepage vid should really be titled, One Republic feat. Timbaland.

Gotta love how these Rap artists add a little "hey, hey" in the background and a few synths to a song that is otherwise wholly written by another artist, and all their fans presume they're the genius behind it.

P.S. check out One Republic's "Stop and Stare" I'm sure you can youtube it. It's a phenomenal song.

Just saw a Yahoo headline: Most crash resistant cars of 2009.

Wouldn't the most crash resistant car depend on the driver? (Of course, it was talking about safety after a crash...)

Nice to know ESPN has one of their main widgets back up and running. It was on our home page previously before they decided to fire widget operator 2 and stop updating it altogether. So I had switched to putting up Fake Solitaire and Fake Asteroids on our main page. Now I'm back to something people care a little more about. Rather, I'm back to something "person" cares a little more about. (I needed to capture the right quantity of readers.)

Yankees pitcher Phil Hughes pitched decently well tonight to get in at least one good start before the season ends. I think he'll be able to use this for next year, as long as he imagines next year that he's also pitching in meaningless games.

Large Hadron Collider needs a reboot... is Microsoft somehow behind this?

Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the Earth Yet?

As some friends have reminded me, you'll want to bookmark this page.

Google is no longer running the ad program where we got our banners from. They left us a winded email about Double Click and doing stuff with other people. Enh. Sounds like a lot of work to switch, so for now, no advertisements here.

The New York Yankees will turn to an undefeated champion to start this Saturday's baseball game. Carl Pavano, 1-0 over the last 2 years, will get the chance to pitch and keep the Yankees in the playoff hunt.

Wow - Roger Federer lost in the Olympics to James Blake. I think Roger's downfall coincided with his statement (I think in late '07) that he doesn't need to prepare for opponents. Once the public could understand his level of disregard for the competition, the collective negative karma being thrust upon him swelled enough to knock him from his perch of tennis domination.

Now he's just really good (instead of really really good).

Batman: The Dark Knight = great movie. On my rating scale for movies (that I haven't made up yet), it's high.

I probably got more of a kick out of The Bourne Ultimatum, but this was close.

CNN Video story on Dancing Matt

Here's a link to a video story from CNN about Dancing Matt.

So the world knows, friend Dan let us know about this guy weeks ago, and the general media is swooping it up now. Yesterday I heard WALK 97.5 (Long Island radio station) mention it in the morning.

DimeBrothers' favorite charity?

Why, that'd of course be The March of Dimes!

I've got a friend who's heading to work there, so I thought it an opportune time to link to them. Plus, the obvious reference to Dimes doesn't hurt.

Stock Market Recovery watch on CNN

Above is an article that is already predicting an upswing in the markets. If these predictions are anything like the predictions for the downswing, wait about 4 months and then start buying.

Here's an article about why expensive gas is a good thing. It's always nice to get perspective on how the dominoes might fall. Especially since we're used to only hearing about the first domino.

LA Times Article

Article regarding the forgiveness of school debt related to working in the public service for 10 years. See my previous article on the Public Service Academy for some more background.

Conclusion? 10 years is still a long time to have to pay back loans. Study and play hard in high school and try to go to college on the cheap--or go to a state school to help make ends meet.

Shouldn't someone who commits a crime (especially a horrific one) be labeled a gutter-mind instead of a mastermind? Something else should be used. CNN needs to be a little more careful in their headlines.

There's a movie review for ya. A cheap and easy article. I even added the movie preview video, too. We're about synergy here at Dime Brothers.

Where are they!? ;)

The doom 'n gloom articles were jinxing the bad news. Then, in a span of 2 days, 3 articles were written that stated maybe the economy is going to be okay, and--BAM! Instantly the economy actually started to turn (despite some positive blips from people gambling their tax rebates away) and all the doom 'n gloom articles suddenly were in the right.

Just thought I'd let the world know I'm alive. And the site is kicking, although almost down for the count....

Article will come forth at some point, but no promises as to when.

It should be noted that there have been more articles about the economy recently that actually spell out doom instead of just analysts being proven wrong.

I might set a PR here for lack of writing - and I'm about to go abroad for about two weeks! That'll add to the tally of days since my last article!

Big Brown did not win the triple crown of horse racing. It'll be at least 31 years until some horse wins it.

I'm not a fan of horse racing - I just wish some horse would win it so it didn't have to be "big news" every year.

I guess it's only fair to link to an article talking about the poor economy, instead of only to articles where people underestimate our economy's strength.

Unemployment rate up

Alright. I want a smart car. Wish they were cheaper...

Smart Car USA

Basic model starts at $11,590. A useful model (you know, with power steering) would cost around $14,000.

I guess to get on the leader board, you actually have to play on the game's homepage, which is here.

I guess to get on the leader board, you actually have to play on the game's homepage, which is here.

The Shift button will transport you to a safe spot on the page. A nice little cheat.

Apparently it doesn't work as well as I thought if you're using Internet Explorer as a web browser. It's good in Firefox though.

I replaced the ESPN widget on the main page because those ESPN widgets never really worked right. Asteroids supposedly will remember your score but I haven't seen my name listed in the rankings. Oh well. Game play is decent and it's a nice little diversion.

I wish all the widgets yahoo offered were embed-able instead of having to be downloaded. Then I'd include some of those.

Just found this article from April 11th, 2006, talking about really expensive oil prices. What's funny is that in some of these worst case scenarios, we're ALREADY exceeding the projected price - and those scenarios haven't even come into play!

Oil Prices Article

What it will take.

A former deputy county executive in Erie County, NY (home to Buffalo) writes very eloquently on government regionalization, consolidation, the use of federal dollars as a carrot and stick method to induce change, and briefly at the end, the legacy of baby boomers.

An article on the 'recession'

Decent read considering all that's been linked to on this site recently.

Wow - we have a legitimate triple crown winner...

in baseball.

Lance Berkman in the NL and Josh Hamilton in the AL.

Oh yeah, and in horse racing, Big Brown could win it in a couple of weeks.

Jay Leno did a banana peel joke tonight.

It's true, as he said, that it's been awhile since anyone's probably heard a banana peel joke. But, amazingly, I started doing banana peel gags at work in the past month. When I walk to the garbage can I pretend to throw my peel in front of someone walking the other direction. Sadly, they don't get my joke, either. :)

How the government spends your taxes.

I've been holding onto this link for awhile. Food to chew on, anyway.

Oof. Rough driving out there today. Even for Connecticut standards people are flying. To the point of overpowering speed control measures. I saw one cop on my right with a guy pulled over. And on my left, approaching an upward grade, I saw a cop pull out from his vantage point and pull over (eenie meenie minie moe) one of the lead cars in a pack doing 75 or so in a 55. (Yes, that is an accurate estimate, but don't ask me how I know.) :)

Drive safe(ly)!

Economists are finally...we won't say "admitting their mistakes", but...perhaps..."changing their minds."
--------------------------------------------

In a front-page story, the Wall Street Journal (5/14, A1, Evans, Lahart) reports that a "funny thing happened to the economy on its way to recession: It's taken a detour." That "is the view of a growing number of economists -- including some who not long ago were saying a recession was all but inevitable. They note that stock and credit markets have steadily improved since the Federal Reserve intervened to keep Bear Stearns Cos. from bankruptcy in early March, while a series of economic reports have been stronger than expected." Wachovia economist Jay Bryson "now puts the odds of recession at 45 percent, down from 90 percent in April, and expects growth in gross domestic product of 0.6 percent at an annual rate in the first and second quarters of this year, followed by 1.2 percent growth in the third and fourth quarters." The Journal notes, however, that "plenty of economic warning signs remain, as reflected in plunging consumer confidence data and polls reflecting deep unease among voters."

In the Economic Scene column in the front of the New York Times's (5/14, C1) Business Day section, David Leonhardt agrees, writing that "only a month ago," the "notion that the economy could avoid a recession altogether seemed fanciful. It looks less fanciful today." He believes that "the economy seems to have stabilized," pointing out that the "pace of layoffs has eased a bit, stocks have risen and the Fed has signaled that the rate cuts are over for now." So "you can make an argument that the economy has survived its period of maximum danger."

Here's a Yahoo article that mentions some economists' expectations actually being met. It's a miracle.

The New York Times on 5/9 published that the "number of newly laid-off workers seeking unemployment benefits dropped much more than expected last week, the Labor Department reported Thursday...The department said that applications for unemployment benefits fell to 365,000, a decline of 18,000 from the previous week. Economists expected a decrease of about 5,000."

Nevertheless, economists pressed on with the pessimism, stating that "they expect layoffs to rise in the coming months as the unemployment rate climbs higher."

Didn't they just say, by looking at the numbers, that unemployment went down? I'm just looking at the data they present and am having trouble seeing how I could be misinterpreting it.

Goodness. We need to start teaching civics and finance in high school as soon as possible!

Yahoo has a video news story on Free Rice. We had that link posted here moons ago.

I just wanted to brag. That is all.

Here's an article on the economy that explains why all the seemingly good news recently is not really good news. I didn't read the entire article, because I don't like to read things that don't agree with my preconceived notions.

That's also why I stay from articles written by that Paul guy. Don't trust 'im.

: )

I guess ESPN's widget guy is on vacation, since they haven't updated the articles in about forever.

Here's another article showing how the experts underestimated the US economy - this time on productivity. Maybe they'll get it right next quarter.

I've updated the images used for spam security so they're a little more readable. I'll assume the bevy of people who weren't posting because of this will now inundate our site with messages...

But I won't hold my breath....

The best video that you'll ever want to see. The joke is to tell you it's something you actually want to click on.

-----------------------
'Rickroll' prank comes to Baltimore

BALTIMORE (UPI) -- Almost 50 people sang the lyrics of British pop star Rick Astley in Baltimore during the weekend as part of a "rickroll" prank, fans say.

Fans either sing or redirect Internet browsers to recognize Astley's 1980s hit song, "Never Gonna Give You Up." The Baltimore Sun said Sunday.

"I'm in love with this song," said Ryan Goff, who organized the "rickroll" event Saturday at the city's Inner Harbor. "I thought I'd be absolutely sick of it, but I like it more. I'm working on singing it backward."

Traditionally a "rickroll" takes place online when unsuspecting browsers click on a serious-sounding link only to watch a video of Astley singing his hit.

For Goff, and others like him, the online bit was not enough. Soon Astley fans were taking to the streets to share their love of the pop star with strangers, the Sun reported.

"It's grass roots; you've got to make the best of it," Goff said. "It's all in the spirit of Rick."


Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Report suggests current economic downturn may not end soon.

The Wall Street Journal (5/5, A2, Ip) reports that the U.S. may be feeling economic pain for a long time. Though stocks are up, "[i]t's common in a crisis for markets to hit bottom long before the economy does. That's because markets are forward-looking, and because economic weakness is the way the underlying imbalances that produced a crisis are corrected." Also, the "current crisis is different" from preceding ones, as "even now, [home] prices are above most estimates of sustainable levels, and household saving has barely picked up." The Journal points to South Korea's financial crisis as a parallel. It "peaked on Dec. 24, 1997," but the country's recovery didn't begin until 1999. Afterwards, "capital investment never fully recovered," and "economic growth, while a healthy four percent to five percent, hasn't returned to the pre-crisis pace." Still, the "risk for the U.S. is that weakness goes beyond the correction of housing excesses, and begins to feed back into the financial system and then, again, hurts the wider economy."

Man, the Scramble game on Facebook is really fun. It's a cross of Boggle and WordRacer (from Yahoo games). Of course, they count a zillion words that aren't really words, but oh well.

The "experts" are batting 0. Here's a quote from an article stolen from CNN.com.

"According to the Labor Department, there was a net loss of 20,000 jobs in April, less than the revised loss of 81,000 jobs in the March and lower than the net loss of 75,000 jobs forecast by economists surveyed by Briefing.com.

As a result, the unemployment rate dropped to 5% from 5.1% in the March report."

Everyone seems eager to paint such a bleak picture that I think they're forgetting that things aren't that bleak on the whole.

And once again, the first quarter was not negative growth. So if you're keeping score at home, that's still NO quarters with negative growth since the first quarter of 2002, I believe. Nevertheless, experts were quick to say, for the second year running, that the next quarter would surely see negative growth. (Not that any of this matters, cause inflation is out to get us all. Quick, hide the kids, inflation's coming!!)

Here's an interesting quote from a CNNMoney.com article from some guy:

"The idea that you must have two negative quarters of GDP to have a recession is completely wrong," he said. "By that measure there was no recession in 2001 when we lost millions of jobs and half the value of the stock market. No one denies there was a recession then."

Here's a quote from an article on Yahoo:

"Many analysts were predicting that the gross domestic product (GDP) would weaken a bit more — to a pace of just 0.5 percent — in the first quarter. Earlier this year, some economists thought the economy would actually lurch into reverse during the opening quarter. Now, they say they believe that will likely happen during the current April-to-June period."

Wait a second - the article I read the other day said analysts were predicting 0.2% growth. I guess this article clears itself by saying "some" analysts.

Their excuse for being wrong is basically: "We were wrong, but we'll be right eventually if we just keep repeating our guesses."

I dislike the Washington Wizards now - tell me how anything Haywood says is rational or right?

Article on Cleveland vs. Washington (NBA)

Oooh - we're set to find out on Wednesday if the US economy grew or declined in the first quarter. Analysts think there was .2% growth. Warren Buffett thinks we're in a recession, although he admits it's not his expertise. We need 2 quarters in a row of decline to officially be in a recession.

I vote for growth. And pulling this out of nowhere, .4% growth. Stock market boom followed by quick decline the next day, while holding some of the gains.

And it'll rain in NYC on Friday, September 5th, 2008. (I have access to an amazing forecast machine.)

There is a Yahoo article with the headline: Harvard gets record $100 million gift from Rockefeller.

I happen to have the transcript of the call that initiated the donation:

[caller]: Hi, my name is Mindy and I'm a student here at Harvard. Would you like to contribute a hundred towards senior class opportunities to study culture?

[Rockefeller]: Sure why not. 100 million. I'm not the first today to donate 100 million, am I? *cough* *hack!* - Where Are My Pills?! ... (unintelligible)... I'll send you a check.

[Mindy to herself]: I'm working on commission, right?

LAKELAND, Fla. (UPI) -- The co-owner of a wildlife preserve north of Lakeland, Fla., said a dozen monkeys who pulled off a daring escape from the facility are evading capture.

Lex Salisbury, co-owner of wildlife preserve Safari Wild and president of Lowry Park Zoo, said the monkeys escaped en masse Saturday by swimming the 8-foot-deep, 60-foot wide moat that surrounded the island they were taken to Thursday, the Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Tuesday.

He said the patas monkeys, considered among the fastest primates, have evaded capture but are not considered dangerous. Salisbury said the monkeys, which are native to Africa, have predator-evading experience that will likely keep them safe from Florida wildlife.

"These guys are pretty smart," he said. "They'll be fine."

Salisbury said the current plan for catching the monkeys involves leaving food for them at the same place every day until they are lured into a routine and a trap can be set.


Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Here's a link to an article on finding missing money.

The current national debt is 9.5 trillion dollars. That means everyone would owe over $30,000 this year, on top of their taxes, to pay it off.

One funny article headline from Reuters a couple of years ago: "US Debt: At least it's not $1 zillion".

We have news that a report talking about the impending recession will soon be released.

Again.

I just had to post this video for Dan. It's a nice film done by his family of the '56 Yankees in Detroit, edited by Dan, with some nice music added in.

Ummm... this design can't be that good. I haven't had ONE job offer for more than $200,000 a year. Isn't that what web people make every year? (I keep turning down all those offers for $150k a year.)

Mark, you may very well have a prosperous future in web-design.
(Just remember your developer-of-choice!!)

Nice format!

The Kansas City Royals are baseball's last undefeated team in the 2008 season at 3-0.

That's sad.

Opening day yesterday was postponed at Yankee Stadium... so it'll be the last opening day at Yankee Stadium again today. (If you're not aware, next season they'll be playing next door in their new stadium.) Why are games scheduled in the Northeast at all in the first two weeks of the season? Seems like every year the Yankees have 2 or 3 games postponed at the beginning of the year. Then in August when you're checking the standings, you're trying to remember why the Yankees are 1.5 games up on Boston but have 2 less wins (they've played 3 fewer games).

I might be exaggerating... but only a little.

You're Fired!!!

Well, since you were never hired, I guess I can't fire you. But either way, my recommendation to your next employer won't be favorable!

: )

Last month Mark ordered me to write an article... in typical Paul Best fashion, I have not yet done that. I am writing this message to let you know that I will be gone all week for work and will not be writing an article then either. That is all.

I didn't come up with the name - it's what I always heard on the radio traffic reports (Star 99.9 especially). But it does make sense - it's a 5.5 mile stretch with nowhere to go if there's an accident. And an exit number is skipped. The start is exit 44 and the end is exit 42.

Well done! Do other people actually call it "The No-Exit Zone" besides you? Congrats on the reference! We're between some pretty serious references, actually.

We are now referenced on the Wikipedia page for the Merritt Parkway (honest - I didn't do it!). We're the source for the reference to "The No-Exit Zone". This seems to re-affirm the fact that if you're around long enough, you'll get noticed/promoted/become incredibly famous. We're practically there.

: )

I got really sick of seeing Miley Cyrus ads, so on most pages I've added the google code to only choose from about 10 different ads that I thought were interesting or useful.

An article on the front page of Yahoo shamelessly tries to take advantage of the recent AP report that pharmaceuticals are in our nations' water supply. The headline says something like "3 steps to get rid of them". And the three are: don't dump your meds down the toilet, test your water for them, and write to congress. I thought they were going to be a little more actionable.

Well, I guess I could kick that nasty habit of dumping all my extra crystal meth down the toilet.

As an fyi, the site is going through a design change. Steve is on the job. (Check's in the mail, buddy!)

Everything here is still usable of course, but soon (1 month? 12 months?!) you'll see a new look for the site. Hopefully it won't look like it was designed by me, basically. Meaning, hopefully it looks sleek yet friendly.

Because right now our site screams, "Get away from me! There's nothing to see here! Move along please!"

Who? Wha?

Action is not what we do here. We are followers. Dan sent a league invite straight to our inboxes. He wins. We followed him, cause he took us to water.

: )

Plus we're scared of your team.

I was wondering if there was a fantasy baseball league, so I posted a note here. I guess these notes are not meant to be read or take action on. :) Either that or all ya'll scared of my team.

Oh yeah, we're still in Iraq. What with Daylight Savings Time coming up and learning that Andorra isn't a war-torn African nation, who can keep up with these things?

Click this gob of text to visit the Iraq Local Governance Program website at www.lgp-iraq.org. Then click on "Reports and Publications" and look for a two-volume handbook published in December 2007 that provides an overview of how Iraq's government works. Both volumes total 148 pages.

Hey, look. I'm not saying anything. All I'm saying is that the mineral Nickel gets its name from the devil, that's all. Read into that what you will...

Theresjustnowaythatstrue.com

A piece about English royalty won an Oscar for best costumes???!!! Gasp--the originality!! I'm sure everyone had that down on their Oscar party ballot!

Philip Agee Dies in Cuba

Actually, this is a pretty old story by Internet standards, being over a month old. This guy blew the lid on CIA procedures and practices, not necessarily a bad thing, but in the doing, outed tons of agents, which is definitely a bad thing.

He said, "Reforms of the FBI and the CIA, even removal of the President from office, cannot remove the problem. American capitalism, based as it is on exploitation of the poor, with its fundamental motivation in personal greed, simply cannot survive without force - without a secret police force." So capitalism within the U.S. can't survive without a secret police force operating outside of it? Not logical.

He seemed to forget that socialist states are propped up by force, namely a lack of federal democracy and free speech. And that a secret police force, by itself, is not necessarily evil. And that even socialist states have secret police forces, though he excused this because their actions did not go as far as the United States' secret police force.

Public servants are moral actors. When they act immorally, the results also lack moral standing. See, for example, much of the CIA's history. But, alas (and vastly too simply stated): two wrongs do not make a right Mr. Agee. Outing secret agents puts lives in danger.

Time is ripe for inflation. Commodity prices are on the rise. The efficiency gains of the past 15 years can only go so far to keep prices down...

I just e-mailed The Sports Guy on ESPN.com the following:

I was watching the Georgetown-Syracuse men's basketball game on Saturday. It strikes me that Syracuse has the most complete "name" team I've seen in a long time. Get a load of these guys:

Starting:
Donte Greene
Kris Ongenaet
Arinze Onuaku
Jonny Flynn
Paul Harris

And coming off the bench are:
Rick Jackson
Scoop Jardine

Not only are their names universally cool, they match their on-court personalities perfectly! There's the Americana Enforcers (Paul Harris, Rick Jackson), slash guys (Donte Green, Jonny Flynn), the European mix-it-up guy (Kris Ongenaet), the beat-down center (Arinze Onuaku), and, to top it off, the coming-off-the-bench point guard (Scoop Jardine).

Has there ever been a team where names match personality so closely? Does this mean good things ahead for this Syracuse squad?

I still couldn't post an article. :(

ESPN's fantasy baseball league is up and ready to create. I don't know who is going to be commish, but please email me at kpod(at)psu(dot)edu with details.

There is a rumor coming from the dungeon where we keep our vast team of network engineers and IT support people that all is now well with this site. Meaning, the changes our host made to some scripting defaults have been corrected (not by the hosts), and comments, uploading articles, and whatnot all work now.

... Thanks Steve!

Sorry for the trouble posting and the such you may be having. I can't get my articles posted, either. We changed to a new server and, naturally, there were problems.

Thanks for the heads up. Since tv has been ruined by the strike, I was in need of another show to watch during my free time. Once a week for Lost barely does the trick.

If you aren't watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles on Fox then you're missing a good show! You can catch episodes at Fox.com but you'll have to download Fox's video player. It's a quick download.

Paul, Yahoo agrees with your first impression. It thinks it's worth more than $44 million. Another possible explanation: the rumored buyout of Yahoo didn't drive up the stock price enough so that all the execs would want to jump ship.

"Online video traffic choking Internet service providers" is a headline on Yahoo, that's not a text article, but an online video. How ironic.

Happy Groundhog Day everyone. It was cloudy in Punxsutawney this morning, yet the groundhog still managed to see his shadow, which means "six more weeks of winter." LIES!!!!

Read my original article that details more Groundhog Day conspiracies.

My first impression is that $44 billion is a good deal for Microsoft. Even MySpace is worth a billion. But at least Yahoo has a search function.

I've been slacking... but you can only blame yourselves... I mean, who knows better than the two of you how big of a slacker I am?! On a positive note, I tested out my Springfield XD Subcompact .40 cal. Just finished cleaning my baby, and about to reload some mags.

He finally posted something. Glad he's okay.

I'm worried about The Sports Guy on ESPN. He usually doesn't go a week without posting. I hope everything is okay with him and his family.

Looks like Nike has responded to Reebok's Run Easy campaign with some "I'm not really an athlete" kind-of ads too. I saw one on ESPN.com. I guess you could see it here.

Federer wasn't better. D'oh! Hopefully it was just a hiccup on his part.

Really old computer ads.

Roger Federer will be facing Novak Djokovic in the Australian Open tennis semifinals... I want Federer to break every record in the book that relates to tennis grand slams. But I think he has a real test in front of him with this Djokovic guy. Just like I want Nadal to continue to be that tough competition for Federer in the French Open, I think Djokovic can prove to be that tough competition on hardcourt for him - so that when Federer's name comes up in the debate of the greatest ever, he'll be able to name these great players as his rivals. I just hope Federer ends up being a little better than Djokovic this year so his Slam run can continue.

Almost a full year ago, on February 14, 2007, I declared a baby boom upon us. Here's the article.

As mentioned first on this site, here's a link talking about the recent semi-baby boom in the US.

This is pretty depressing.

It's been awhile, poor site. I promise to pay more attention to you in 2008....

And by "more" I mean more than none at all. Which leaves it wide open as to how much...

People need to be made aware of this line I saw on a tech blog:

"Using Yesterday's Software to create tomorrow's problems today"

Thought that was funny coming from a techie-universe.

I was just watching ABC's Providence affiliate. They were doing a story on toys not made in China and how parents are looking harder for said toys, which are tough to find because 80% of the toys in our country were made in China. They interviewed several people, including Soleil Moon Frye. Now you and I know Soleil as "Punky Brewster" from the 80's sitcom. ABC's Providence affiliate knows her simply as "Store Owner" for the purposes of their story. That's disappointing reporting. To learn more about Soleil, visit our affiliate, Theresjustnowaythatstrue.com here.

Now I'm just looking for an excuse to post some more.

You may need to refresh the page depending on your browser. The images should now all be actual words instead of secret letter/number combinations that would also sneak you in to some of the most secure systems in the world. But I guess words are nice, too. We'll miss you, secret code things!

Amazing what you can do with PowerPoint.

... But I guess if there are problems, you won't be able to post here to let me know! Oh, the tangled webs we weave!

I've tried to insert new images for the spam blocker procedure dealio. Let me know if something's not working.

It's that time of year again. Visit Elf Yourself to turn yourself into an elf.

I have posted the winner of the caption contest.

Here's a link to a traffic article by Jon Gromer. Not sure how long it'll be active, but one good point that was brought up involved people wanting to be in the left lane perhaps because cars wouldn't be whizzing by their windows on that side (they'd be on the opposite side of the car in the right lanes).

Here's a quote from another article about the teacher who got arrested in Sudan: "Muslim scholars generally agree that intent is a key factor in determining if someone has violated Islamic rules against insulting the prophet." If this statement is true, then it seems correct for her to receive a pardon (and she shouldn't have been convicted in the first place).

On another note, can anyone in the world agree on the spelling of Muhammad? I originally got the spelling from an article somewhere. Now I see it's different.

Agreed.

I think the caption contest has run its course. I believe that I should name a winner and runner-up. Agree?

I had a different take. How in the world did that teacher not know that naming a teddy bear Mohammed would be a bad thing? Punish her, punish the parents, punish everyone! :)

Good news - we're already up to over $17 earned through AdSense. We're really taking off now!!! (It's only been about 8 months since we've had it...)

I feel compelled to write about that teacher in Sudan who had her students name a bear Mohammed. "Fundamentalists" want her killed, blaming her for influencing those children. I can't say I'm an expert on Islam, but if the Muslim kids don't know they shouldn't be naming a bear Mohammed, then shouldn't their parents be punished? Kinda sounds like these fundamentalists want to take away personal responsibility, too! Or if they don't know, maybe it's because it's not really a big deal, and these fundamentalists are really just trying to itch their "Let's kill people who aren't like us" desire.

It's just absurd that people think she should be punished at all. But I guess I only think that way because I can't see why it's wrong to name things like bears Mohammed but not people. We name things after people to honor them, usually. Do any buildings carry the name "Mohammed" in the Islamic world?

Here's a link to an article on personal responsibility. A cell phone went off, a room full of convicts wouldn't "snitch" and the perpetrator wouldn't admit guilt... so the judge locked up everyone. It must have been frustrating for the judge to be sitting there and witnessing what is essentially a prison culture kind of a thing - no snitching, and no admitting of guilt. Extreme punishment, yes. But frustrating for the judge, too.

Maybe they could have actually provided a link to it from the main page. Sometimes even on Page 2 the only link to it would be the text at the top of the page - there wouldn't be an article summary to click on....

[ESPN exec] Let's create something new and not support it, yet hope it pans out.

[Yes man] Good idea, boss!

[exec] And let's make the theme each day tough to understand so that people have to reread the heading 50 times just to get what the blurbs are about.

[yes man] Excellent. Good stuff.

...I think it was nicely designed, and had some funny stuff where you didn't have to think too much to understand ("oddities" were understandable most of the time, and "not in this issue" too). But headings like, "9 things that couldn't have not happened to [obscure person I have to look up to know]" were not good. Then the blurbs summarizing sports news didn't always seem to jive with those headings. It encouraged the ignoring of the heading, and probably the AM Jump altogether. I found the best headings to be simple, like "7 things for this morning", or "5 things to think about". Useless, but at least you wouldn't hurt your brain trying to make rhyme or reason from the blurbs. I'll miss you AM Jump. Kinda.

Yeah, the last one was last Wednesday. I didn't hear a reason why they axed it, but they probably didn't get enough clicky-clickys.

Ummm... looks like AM Jump on ESPN.com got axed. Or maybe they're just redesigning their morning sports fix feature again. It used to be the Daily Quickie. But I thought the "Jump" was done pretty well overall.

Is anyone else sick of Al Michaels totally missing a call? Time and again, he seems totally intent on not seeing in a replay what everyone at home is seeing. For example, he loves saying how people are out of bounds when they're clearly in (or didn't even catch the ball, making his entire argument irrelevant). Or he loves saying how receivers had control of a ball, even though they weren't even inbounds when they caught it.

It's posted. Let the beginning of our quest for world domination commence once again! Wha ha ha!!!!

What am I even talking about?

Word. I sent Mark a photo for a caption contest (because I am not smart enough to figure out how to post here), so keep him accountable for creating it.

Article on Driving Knowledge

Here's a link (not sure how long it'll be active) to a report on how knowledgeable drivers are around the country. The most surprising result? Idaho is rated at number 1. I lived in Utah for awhile and had the unfortunate opportunity to drive around a lot of Idahoans. Many drove with a total disregard for the world around them. In my opinion, only the Massachusetts drivers that hail from Worcester are anywhere close to surpassing Idaho's awfulness.

But at least MA is ranked 48th. Idaho is number 1! I demand a retest! A test that actually takes into account driver awareness!

In case anyone cares, I was elected to my local tax board yesterday. Thus, the ignorance (ignoring) of this site has continued.
: )

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Again


Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

200th post!

Sorry, I couldn't refrain since we do it in fantasy sports.

I dressed up as an Army man for work today... but I do that everyday...

I'm 65 minutes into the designated Halloween TorT time, and I've had three trick or treaters... Do you know how much candy I bought?! Depressing...

I went to work today dressed as a Ninja. My office sat empty while I steathily went about my normal routine. While my office mates were busy looking for me, I was at home sleeping in and eating chips. It's the best costume ever.

To anyone you see in costume, the following is a classic that works pretty much all the time:

"So you decided not to dress up today?"

An amazing elephant story...

Sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, but this one is truly interesting…

In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times, then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

This is a website (Woot.com) that offers one deal a day, and sometimes offers a grab-bag like deal which I don't understand because I haven't researched it well enough.

So each day, one product is for sale, at a really cheap price. I think it's a great idea because it'll keep people going back to the site every day. Today a 7 mega pixel camera is for sale for $99 plus $5 for shipping. The same camera on Polaroid.com is available for $184.99. (By the way, Polaroid is selling 10 mega pixel cameras - I didn't even know they existed! Of course, I'm not that up-to-date with technology. Have you guys heard of that site called "Goo-gull"? I hear it's popular.)

Here's the link to 2 more videos on the home site itself.

I still don't know what a trunk monkey really is, though. But you can buy things like bumper stickers on their site.

This probably deserves its own article, but anyone notice that the Red Sox came back to win against Cleveland after being down 3 games to 1... after enjoying a day off? The day off came between games 4 and 5 at Cleveland when normally they wouldn't have had a day off. But scheduling quirks gave them the rest and may have helped shift momentum back to the Sox. Days off allowed the Sox to beat the Yanks in '04 (rain out) and Detroit to beat the Yanks in '06 (rain out again). That's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

So we haven't paid much attention to this site... but you should be used to that.

I'm running for election (oh no! A political reference! We'll get more political ads from Google!), and Paul is running... um... from the law.

I'm in more despair already!

"Customer Disservice: Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied"

Despair Website.

In reference to the 2007 MLB playoffs: "We're headed for a Red Sox-Yankees Armageddon in 10 days. It's going to happen. Start stockpiling canned goods and beef jerky now."

RapLeaf sent me an email today. Apparently if you test your email address with them, you sign up for emails from them. I had to unsubscribe.

Here's a blurb stolen from PurpleGables.Wordpress.com:

"What’s RapLeaf, you say??

RapLeaf is a creepy stalker’s dream come true. It’s basically a website where you go and type in someone’s email address… and, like magic (evil, black magic, that is) you get a page with links to every single place that person has a web presence - blogs, Facebook, LinkedIn, flickr photos, you name it."

Here's the link.

I tried it and got nothin' on me. But I didn't ask them to get back to me in an hour (as they offer to do). I guess that gives their evil machines time to scour the web searching for your soul.

Except I forgot to change the importance weights. Oh well.

I finally did it too, and I'm 88.24% Tommy Thompson, who's dropped out of the race already. 2nd place is Mitt Romney at 82.35%.

That website said that I'm an 88.89% match with Mitt.

Via CNN's Political Ticker via the LA Times: This Link to a website that's meant to help you decide who to support in next year's Presidential elections.

From a coworker when discussing another coworker's baby/recent birthing experience where only a heating pad, laughing gas, and yoga ball were used:

"I would've been drugged up for 3 weeks before the due date, just in case, and told the doctors, 'Wake me up when it gets here. Better yet, wake me up when it's 18.'"

Don't worry site! I just paid to have your hosting services renewed. You shall live on, even as we continue to ignore you!

(By the way, I posted the last message. In case you were wondering. Hello? Anyone there?)

Hello out there! [there... there... the... th...]

Can someone out there post an article on me, please? I require new material.

Thanks.

Poor website. I haven't been ignoring you. Ignoring involves being aware of and purposefully staying away from, or not paying attention to.

I've just plain forgotten about you.

(Smack!)

So Osama Bin Laden mentioned he would like to see the end of capitalism (so a headline I read said). If capitalism is so bad, why won't he help the Afghani government "socialize" the sale of drugs... I mean, right now I imagine capitalism is driving prices. So Osama, you believe drugs are okay but capitalism is bad? *puh. (spit)*

I'm copying and pasting this messily. The important thing to notice is that this in-game box score of the Pirates vs. the Cardinals has one Pittsburgh pitcher named "N Available". I'm assuming the person entering the info didn't know the pitcher's name...

Pittsburgh Pirates
Pitchers IP H R ER BB SO HR PC-ST ERA
B Bullington 3.0 7 5 5 2 1 1 63-41 15.00
J Van Benschoten 1.1 6 5 5 2 1 0 41-24 10.86
J Grabow 0.2 5 2 2 0 1 1 26-17 3.64
N Available 1.0 4 4 3 0 0 0 32-20 27.00
Totals 6.0 22 16 15 4 3 2 162-102

Umm, the Playstation 3 is very smart, but there aren't any A.I. chips installed, so I believe that it isn't able to "Speak for itself".

duhhhhh

You stay out of this, Steve. I'm going to let the Playstation speak for itself.

: )

it doesn't, but my guess is that it will. it can connect to a wifi network, so i don't see why they won't develop a web browser.

So... can the Playstation do that?

We're waiting for its answer...

I'm writing this message using Nintendo Wii's internet channel.
It's pretty neato!

I was searching for an image of Costco for work and came across a "Purple Gables" blog. I'm providing some links to entries on the site. Please also follow the links she provides for hilarity will ensue.

Is it a duck?

Marketing genius

*sniff* WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *sniff sniff* No more turtle ads??? I'll get over it.

Prison populations count for the town where the prison is located. If there's a prison where you live, the stupid people would still count as being in town.

Can a municipality tax stupid people through the roof in order to drive them out of town? The stupid people would have to be smart enough to know they're getting taxed at an overwhelming rate, and then move out of town because of it. But being smart enough to do that would mean they are smart enough to stay and avoid the tax....

I guess the end result would be throwing stupid people in prison for failure to pay taxes. At least then they'd be out of town... but states would have to increase taxes to pay for new prisons....

I'm gonna block the turtle ads. I'm sick of 'em.

Those turtle ads just get better and better. They look so shiny!

I think the Jonas Brothers have something new coming out. I can't wait to watch the Disney channel tonight!!!

The Simpsons creator was on NPR this morning and referenced Homer's Superman quote which appears on this site. He admitted he got it wrong. It goes something like, "I'm not a praying man, but if you're up there, please help me Superman."

I'm a little annoyed by titles that are a little too witty. I'm seeing ads for a TNT show called "Saving Grace". I'm a bettin' Grace is the name of the main character.

"Good Will Hunting" is so witty it's absurd. It took title wittiness to a level never before seen. "Good Will" could be understood like the donation bin, "Hunting" could be understood as searching for or shooting or a name, "Will" could be a name or a drive (i.e., will-power kinda thing), "Good" could potentially be a name, for cryin' out loud, but then my head would explode.

It just seems that these double or triple-meaning titles are getting a little old. Cozy, but forced. Time for a new angle.

I sure could go for some tasty turtles right about now!

I didn't get on Millionaire. Oh well. Apparently they want people who only get to $4,000.

Joe is a buddy who just started a rival blog. Since he's going after our market share, it's only reasonable to attack his site and bring it down. The way to do this is by visiting it relentlessly in order to crash his servers. We just need to try really hard. Now go visit it.

Joe's Blog

Warning: I'm not a food expert.

China has banned some food imported from the US because they've found it contains "salmonella, feed additives and veterinary drugs." Ummm... salmonella is found in raw food, which is why you cook it. Unless "feed additives" are cardboard and engine coolant, I'm thinking it's not so bad.

Of course, wouldn't it be nice to get food that's healthy and natural? That's why I eat hot dogs.

Ha ha ha.

And since we'll soon be trying to sell turtles, shouldn't Google know that turtle ads are competitive and thus shouldn't be shown? Can't they read our minds?

You read that right - we're going to be offering turtles on this site! Come one, come all! Buy them for your kids! Buy them and then set them free, allowing us to recapture them and sell them again! Buy them because you don't know what to do with your loose change!

Our goal is for everyone to own turtles just like they own cell phones - everyone seems to have 2 or 3.

(Boo hiss to cell phones! Boo hiss to owning turtles! Boo hiss to forcing little innocent turtles to use cell phones!!!)

Why do we keep getting those turtle ads? They're corrupt!!! I mean, turtles, turtles, turtles. That's all we got! Left and right turtles; up and down turtles; turtles here, turtles there! I sure wish google adsense would stop giving us turtle ads. We don't even mention them on this site!!!

Unbelievable. I can't believe the main article describing the record haul of the 5th Potter movie on Wednesday, July 11th, did not include the real reason it was a record.

People have heard so much about the last book coming out that they've erroneously thought the movie is the last movie!!!

Better release a special edition Potter book when the 6th movie comes out to drum up more revenue.

You go ahead and fund raise for that tab. The AdSense revenue pouring in won't cover it. : )

You know what this site needs, other than hits? A blackboard tab along the top somewhere. People could come and spray paint graffiti on our site. You know, an important message, or whatever, on that tab.

It's so humid out, when I pour my Marshmallow Mateys into a bowl, the marshmallows stick together automatically. Yummy!

Or however it's spelled...

Canadian Bacon is NOT bacon! It's ham with a false name.

Proving again that we're way ahead of the curve, this is from a Men's Health article called 125 Best Foods in Your Supermarket (via Yahoo):

12. Best Sweetened Cereal
Honey Nut Cheerios
When you crave sugar, do the least damage with these lightly sweetened O's.

And in case you were wondering about bacon:

43. Best Canadian Bacon
Hormel Canadian Style Bacon
Already cooked—just zap it in the microwave for 11 g protein.

There was an ad on this page for cotton candy machines. Now THAT'S advertising! Yummy! (No more financial ads except for HSBC, please! Are you listening to me, Google? ... hello? ...I know you're there!!!!)

I seem to recall an article mentioning Cadbury... and DimeBrothers has been known to dabble in the confectionary business. Thus, this link which describes Cadbury's restructuring.

Yahoo "pick of the week" article on lip balm addiction. They are so behind the breaking news.

Paraphrase from a pretty pathetic movie which I won't name:

[Trying to get an airport staff person to understand the urgency with which they needed a printed passenger list]

Listen, you've heard of the show "24", right? If what we were dealing with now were a show, it would be called "1".

Me: A-Rod is having a great year.

Wife: Is he in a contract year?
_________________________________

Genius! I'm proud of how much she's learned about sports! Of course, he's only kind of in a contract year, since he can shop the open market OR stick with his current deal.

Mrs. Krabapple: Bart, have you ever read The Boy Who Crys Wolf?

Bart: I'm halfway through it, I swear!

I have been clickin on a few of them ads, so I request a candy bar the next time I see you. Hey, I saw Paul not long ago so it could happen.

We've already earned over 10 whole dollars with AdSense! Pretty soon we'll be so rich, we'll be able to buy the entire jar of penny candy I've been eyeing down at the corner store. (Sadly, such store is imaginary.)

Or I could buy a couple of Twix bars...

... or a 10lb. bag of chicken at BJs!

Or pay most of the car tax on my '92 Sable Wagon. Stupid Connecticut car tax!

This just in: Clemens makes another start in preparation to return to majors against Quadruple A Pittsburgh Pirates. (I can imagine that as a headline for the Sports Guy or Gallo.)

You know, it's getting to the point where everyone and their brother has a website nowadays.

I was supposed to audition tonight for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but traffic was HORRENDOUS! How often does a moose get struck on a highway in Connecticut?!

But what about the millions of dollars of advertising revenue??? It's coming out of your cut.

I've decided to get rid of the ad banners on the sides - a lot of the time it doesn't seem like Google can find ads that are meaningful and/or tasteful... and they look kind of ugly anyway. And now all those people with horrible resolution settings can view everything on this site!

Someone found the site by searching for "bandana man outwits". It's only a matter of time before Bandana Man is famous the world over.

We're ignoring you.

We're not ignoring you, beautiful site
We're not imploring you, oh tempest night
We're not beguiling you, for the right
We let you simmer, alas, for the beggar's mite.

More articles soon (C'mon--it's Memorial Day weekend; of course we've ignored the site all week!). Sorry for the meaningless bad poetry.

Here's a link about The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. When Rachel and I went, one speller surprisingly spelled a tough word correctly, the cast was amazed, the audience laughed, and the guy was immediately called back for a word that was really tough, and 3 letters in after he missed it, Mo Rocca immediately rang the bell and they hilariously ushered the speller off stage. I was wondering if they pretend that the speller gets a tough word right though. There's not much of a chance that anyone in the audience actually knows how the word should be spelled.

Anyhoo, that musical was funny at times, and crude at times. But at least we got to go with cheap tickets. And we were so close to the stage that I could see the cards Mo Rocca was using to read from - I was practically over his shoulder. He had lots of scribbled words on them. I had difficulty making the words out though to verify the spelling.

Another ESPN page 2 article referenced bacon. It's from DJ Gallo and talks about hockey. I understand if no one wants to click on the link, then.

Ummm... someone found our site looking for "groundhog nomenclature". Another person found our site looking for "hoodia". Another for "hydrocodone". Another for "hillbilly hare". Pretty soon people will be able to do a search for google and the first result will be DimeBrothers.com.

Heard something on NPR about cheap little turtles and how it's in-humane to buy them or something. So please, I implore you to ignore the turtle ads on this site.

Ironically, me posting about turtles here increases the likelihood of an ad appearing which offers them for sale.

On Tuesday this past week was the NBA draft lottery. Many sports pundits have bashed this system recently due to the fact that (1) the three teams with the worst record will not get a top three pick and more importantly (2) big market teams like Boston will have to settle for second rate goods. I take the position that the lottery is a good thing and in fact I think that it should have an even better percentage of winning for all teams that not make the playoffs.

Let’s look at a political equivalent first. Way back in the year 2000 many were up in arms when the candidate with the slim majority in the popular vote (Gore) lost to the electoral college vote (G.W. Bush). People were irate as to how this could happen, but historically this is the way the system was set up. You play by the rules that are set up (see benching of Amare and Diaw). The reason that our government has an electoral college is to encourage campaigning in “swing states” so that a candidate doesn’t spend all his time in the 20 most populous cities in the country. This sentiment of giving everyone a chance is exactly what basketball is trying to do, give each team a chance.

I do not think however that each pick (1-14) should be based on lottery, only the top three. There is not much separation between any five teams based on record, however some of the worst teams and teams that just miss the playoffs have a much wider margin. Having a lottery system prevents teams from tanking. It is ridiculous that people will shell out their hard earned dollars to see bench players at the end of a season. Every season it is obvious that a handful of teams are just trying to stack some extra ping pong balls in their favor, hoping for the top pick.

My solution is make the lottery more equitable for every team. If we base the percentage of winning on the number of losses a team has, there would only be a maximum 5% difference between the top team and the bottom (8% for worst team and 3% for best team in lottery). Of course this could make a team on the edge push their way into the playoffs, but historically this has happened even with bad teams. Some examples that come to mind are Patrick Ewing and Lebron James. Even if a team has the top pick doesn’t mean it is always for the best, for example Sam Bowie to Portland instead of Michael Jordan.

I do not like this year how the western conference got the top two picks this year, but that is how the ping-pong balls bounce. This is a good system and although I propose more radical change in the opposite direction, keeping it this way is perfectly fine.

I'm too depressed to comment on Paul's Sabres post... October can't come soon enough...

The Sport Guy's wife, The Sports Gal, mentions people in Upstate NY eating fatty bacon. Of course they do! Any kind of bacon is fair game! It's an article on Page 2 of ESPN.com, which I won't provide the link to. I just thought people needed to know that this reference to bacon and upstate NY exists.

This site is off the hook!

It's got to be one of the best-designed and functionally sleek sites in internet history.

This article isn't as good as my first "article". Mostly because I was tired and it was past due. Oops.

Dime Brothers' forecast for beating the analysts' predictions was... a couple "Nichols" over 41 cents per share.

Campbell's stock posted earnings of 45 cents per share today, 4 cents ahead of analysts' predictions. Campbells says it's due largely to increased sales of its V8 products.

See the influence our articles have?

Forgot to mention that Romney used the phrase "get off the dime" (meaning, get to work). I looked up all the common uses of the word dime when we were inventing this site. "Get off the dime" comes from people screaming at dancing ladies to stop picking up people's dimes they would throw and to get back to dancing (think of the movie Far and Away with Cruise and Kidman).

That usage along with "dime bag" (refering to 10 dollar bags of drugs) were 2 potential reasons not to go with "Dime Brothers". In the end, mostly because we knew no one would care (because no one would be reading), we stuck with Dime Brothers.

I met Mitt Romney (ex-Republican governor of Massachusetts who is running for President) this morning. He's a very good speaker, personable (I got to shake his hand and could have gotten a picture had I remembered my camera), and smart. He gave some specific examples on how to cut down the waste "in Washington", mentioning the number of federal programs devoted to economic development (was it over 300?).

He also brought up health care reform, in particular what they did in Massachusetts. One point was that people who don't have health insurance actually have health insurance - it's called the emergency room. Some who don't have insurance already know this and they just don't want to fork over money for something they can get for free. The rest of us end up paying for their care; but if the government helps out by getting these people on private plans, individuals (you and me) and the government end up saving money.

One of the questions posed to him was, "How will [he] address flip-flopping on abortion?" He answered hilariously that he's only flipped. He hasn't flopped. That he's always personally been against abortion, but he's had an internal debate about how government should step in to people's lives. Now he feels, with this issue, that the government should step in to fight for pro-life policies.

Anyhoo, thought it was neat to meet someone who could be "the leader of the free world". I encourage you all to research candidates at the national, state, and local level and pick who you think is best!

I can't help it--the Star Trek quote is one of my favorites.

This dude is giving up bacon?! It's time to have an intervention or something...

There's an article about Keira Knightley above the bacon article... I didn't read it, but she's hot.

This blog post can be found at CNN.com. I'm not sure how long it will be active, or how much or little you'll have to scroll down to find it, but the post is in regards to bacon. Thus, this is an issue we cannot ignore!

By the way, if you haven't seen the movie "Old Joy", I hear it's pretty good. Me watch it??? No no no. I don't plan on ever seeing it. I'm just passing on a rumor I've heard somewhere.

Steve has shown me how to embed videos into articles, so I can upload videos as a part of the article instead of only being able to add them as a comment or message. Woo hoo! (Steve - the check's in the mail!)

Press release regarding health care. It's from Joe. Maybe Joe should write some witty, intelligent, and funny articles for this site. Well, funny and witty, maybe.

: )

Joe, you can provide hyperlinks within this posting medium by writing whatever you want the link to be (in this case I wrote "Press release regarding health care"). Then you can highlight it all, click the little button next to the underlined U, and then paste in the URL. That way we don't have to do as much work. We're all about laziness here. Er... we call that efficiency, right? Yes - we're all about efficiency.

I confess - I'm no accidental visitor. Put me under Mark's total.

Here's my first writing piece from the new job:
http://news.byu.edu/archive07-MAY-Butler1.aspx

We had 490 unique visitors to DimeBrothers.com in April. That beats March's 150. By a nose. If we see the same growth in May... it'd be a miracle. Especially since we're not even tryin'. Barely.

This article actually makes me want to watch a boxing match! (Watch it, but not pay for it.)

I'm lying about the last part of the previous post.

Torii Hunter gave some bubbly to the Kansas City Royals for beating up on Detroit last year (which allowed the Twins to win the division). He unwittingly broke a baseball rule, though, that would require him to be banned from the game for 3 years!

Luckily the Royals will be returning the unopened bubbly, thus averting a disaster for the Twins.

As thanks for returning the bubbly, Hunter is reportedly thinking of sending the Royals a couple of kegs....

: )

(And thus again breaking the rule!)

As of today we're over 400 unique IPs visiting Dime Brothers so far this month. Apparently people are accidentally visiting, because no one cares enough to leave a post or anything. I don't blame them - that takes work. And we're against that here.

I think we're stuck with a very small core that just happens to visit the site from every public library computer they can find.

You guys getting any new traffic?

Also... Paul N is so going to get his butt 'whip'ed this week in Fantasy Baseball.

I'm just posting this in case you didn't know already... but Google can help you find things through their search program. And they have ads you can put on your very own website. It's really somethin'.

I think Wilbon's article and Whitlock's article are the most reality-based commentary on this thing.

Interesting about that Imus radio guy. I had never even heard of him until some presidential hopefuls went on his show recently.

He used very insulting language in regards to the players on the Rutgers' basketball team, which is of course despicable. There is justifiably an outcry and eagerness to punish him for what he said. But where are all those free speech advocates lining up to protect his right to say whatever he wants? Someone's gotta be speaking out on his behalf, right? Or are most free speech advocates just selective of the free speech they support? If I were a freelancer, I'd hunt down those die-hard free speech supporters who back his right to say what he wants and make a buck or two selling their story on why they're so much more committed to their cause than others.

Nice! You took my suggestion. I feel loved and useful. That's a nice change of pace.

And I'm blocking ads (pretending they're competitive with what we sell, even though we don't sell anything) to try and keep the site cleaner. This is post 100.
: )

I didn't know that I could date a Filipina just by clicking on one of the DimeBrothers.com advertisements! This site ROCKS!

And I'm waiting!

Thanks to Steve for cool new buttons when you post a message. You can make text bold, italicized, underlined, and add a hyperlink by simply highlighting your text and pressing the applicable button.
Also, "carriage returns" are now recognized in posts. These upgrades are surely the reason that Iran has let the British captives go. As this site becomes more and more developed, we shall see peace impose its will across the globe (peacefully of course).

So you're sayin' I can just email you my application? I haven't seen any notice that I can't be re-hired!!!

Applications for being my brother can be sent to my e-mail on this site.

That's a great idea, Paul Best. (And for those of you who are new to the site, Paul Best is an honorary article writer. Although his last name doesn't contain any tacit reference to money, it is still indicative of the quality we strive for (the "Best")). And since I'm fired, and Steve is quitting, your suggestion will now get lost in the bureaucratical mess that is Dime Brothers.

I'll get right on that, as soon as I get the check in the mail. ; )

Just kidding. Actually, to implement a change like that, I'd first need to come up with a design plan pointing out all milestones as well as the cost benefit of such functionality. Then, I'll need to write up a report on how/why creating this function will affect resources, citing allocations as well as citing other updates that will ultimately be delayed. Then I'll need to come up with a plan for completing the delayed work, and so on.

...Ummmm....Mark, I quit!

What this site needs is a comment tally on the main page headlines. For example... if I commented on a story, and I wanted to see if someone else also commented, I'd need to click on the story. If you had a comment tally for each story, I could see that there are now a greater number of comments than when I last posted. Do it now!

I've gone done added a set of Google Link ads to the bottom of each page. Yes, I'm an evil person, but I figured that I should just go ahead and do it, then repent for it later. That's usually the easiest way. : )

You will now witness ads at the top of each page. In getting these Google Ads, I've asked for only images (instead of text ads), and agreed not to artificially inflate clicks, click on them myself, or encourage others to click on them. I'm off to repent!

So... it's a little cruder than I first realized. But the two topics I recommend reading are hilarious still.

Regarding The Dilbert Blog, make sure to scroll to the bottom and read "Righteous Indignation" and "Working".

I just registered Dime Brothers on Technorati, and maybe we'll be randomly chosen to appear on their main page... or not. They're a website that tracks blogs and stuff. Anyway, according to Technorati, The Dilbert Blog is the 59th most linked to blog on the infer-may-shun supranet dealio. Please visit it
here. This won't count as one of those links, though, because I think their Spiders are inferior (their web programs that search for links and stuff).

Please check out the About page again, if you haven't in awhile. It now has a neat little graphic of us Dime Brothers which was prepared by Zigga (it took days huddled over a computer to create - ha ha).

I found this tutorial:

Set up your hyperlink to simply link to the document then...

Go to Tools, Options and under the view menu Show Field Codes.

It will look something like this:

{ HPERLINK "D\My Documents\Customer Form.doc" }

add t "_blank to the end of it and it should look something like this:

{ HPERLINK "D\My Documents\Customer Form.doc" t "_blank" }

When you are finished turn off Show Field Codes


Hopefully that works..

My guess is that the option exists, it just must not be the same steps to doing it in 2000 as it is in 2003. But, the need to have that option would've been just as prominent in 2000 as it is in 2003.

Actually, Word 2000 doesn't offer the target frame option. Us po' people don't have 2003 yet!

Mark and Paul, look at you two learning html. I'm very proud, but also very frightened because it looks as though you're phasing me out! *runs away in near tears*

It's kinda tough to post the code, since the system reads it... but maybe I'll put it in an article... or maybe we'll add some functionality to the site (by "we'll", I mean Steve). : )

Please visit Dime Brothers. Thank You. (Paul - code is in our Gmail account.)

While you're creating the link, you have to select the 'target frame' option and select 'new window'from the drop-down menu. You should have the option to make that a default value, so you don't have to do it every time. Let us know if that works.

The problem is not to get a link to work. The problem is to get a hyperlink in Word to allow the target to open in a new window...any help?

When I finally understood the simple code, I said, "Got it." Steve then said, "Darn right you do, because I'm the best explainer in the world."
So I replied, "Huh? What do you mean by the best explainer?" Hardy har har!!! : ) (Thanks Steve!)

I'm providing a link to Dime Brothers, just in case you'd like to visit the site. Ha ha. There's some html code you need for links that Steve happily provided (and I think my brother, too, but for MySpace usage).

This is a new post, inviting the millions who will view this page to click on "Post a Message" and add something to enlighten us all, or something that will just waste our time. (I'm used to doing the latter.)

Here ye, here ye! Or hear y--just listen up.

Next week is Homer Simpson 2 Cents week! So every day, starting on Sunday, I'm gonna throw up a new Homer Simpson quote. Unless I forget, for which case the quote will be, "D'oh!!"

Because we all don't know enough Pauls out there, now introducing another one... Paul Ralph, currently of New Jersey. So be sure everyone named Paul (except Paul Nichols, since he's the first) to sign your posts with your last name included! Hey everyone, thanks for pretending you care about this site by making posts. My ego has been fed (for now... but don't hold off more posts for long - my ego is a hungry fella).

I put up a post and our site has that neat little code thingy that I had to fill in! Good times. Good times.

By spammed, what I mean is that someone put a post up on this board. I blocked the IP so it can no longer post, but that won't work of course 'cause those sleaze-buckets have too many resources.

We were spammed, probably automatically, from an IP address originating in Israel. The post included a link to order Cialis. We may have to add in one more step to post, in order to block those automated dealios from working - where you'd have to punch in a code from an image....

Sorry poor site! I've been ignoring you! *sniff* I know. We're all sad because of it.

World War III accidentally started when some Swiss soldiers got lost and accidentally invaded Liechtenstein.

I moved the words article over here to the message board because it just didn't seem right breaking up the customer service articles; it was gumming up the works.

Check out a couple of words all the young kids are using these days. Guaranteed to get you that raise you've been angling for!

1) dussied; as in all dussied up (whatever you want that to mean, perhaps dressed nicely)

2) muss; as in muss up the works (whatever you want that to mean, too; perhaps mess up)

3) dealy-wat, as in I don't know what those dealy-wats are that make it work (works great with car parts)

4) suits, as in those suits up at the capitol...(works best when complaining)

See if you can work these words into your lexicon in the next couple of days. You'll be having more fun in no time!

. . . has now been incorporated into DimeBrothers.com! So, feel free to keep posting general posts at this forum, but know now that posts regarding specific articles can now be done within that article's webpage!

Be sure to forward any problems / questions / concerns to Mark. He'll fix anything and everything ;)

I got a doozy about customer service starring me and a stupid teenager on the other end of the phone as a representative of U-Haul, Inc., but it's too long to submit as a post. Let me just say at one point I was called an "F*ing Customer", though she thought I couldn't hear her, and it ended with me having no truck the night before I was moving into my house. Yikes!!!

Paul, you handled that beautifully. Kudos, yo.

the fad, nay, the very social moov-ment uhv mispelling has xtendud to bizness - c vitaminwater.com, since their an uffender 4 not capitalizing the begining uhv censusez. (As a side note, why does anyone like watered-down juice???)

Today is World Thinking Day. I think that's stupid.... There. I've exercised my right not to think, since I know nothing about this day. I love this country (er... this world)!

Anyone thinking about Britney Spears at all, Mark? Maybe you should do less thinkin' and more writin'! (Or maybe I should.)

Anyone else thinking that Britney Spears is only pretending to want her children, but by acting crazy she is giving the court reason to give her children to K-Fed? Maybe she really doesn't want her kids.

To continue with the baby theme, an article trying to explain scientifically why less babies are being made. I still say it's because we're contracting out baby-making to countries like Mexico and India.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20070217/sc_livescience/whywomenhavefewerbabies

Alright ... I know I have been injured a few times, but this will be my break-out season. Igore my latest mishap below.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2767126

A European model of child rearing would doom this country, so hopefully we don't keep going down that road. Growing US businesses offer more jobs, and those jobs can be filled overseas, by immigrants in the US, or by born-and-raised US citizens. Currently and in our future, jobs will be filled by a mix of all three, but if there aren't enough homegrown Americans to fill what's needed, that'll encourage businesses to lean on the other two groups. Leaning towards immigrants isn't necessarily bad - at least the US has the space to support many of them (maybe not the resources, though), and they do a lot of the "dirty work". But homegrowners can help the economy without creating the need to rely on policy-making and the controversy of immigration/sending jobs overseas. Overall, I hope for a little boom.

That's a good question. I tried to leave out the positive or negative connotation. But since I do have an opinion...I used to generally think that Americans would be emulating their European neighbors' model of having fewer and fewer kids. I think not having kids is a bit selfish. It's another way for an individual to avoid commitment. This is the "me" generation, after all. And where did we learn this "me-ness" from? The baby boomers! Sure it's fun to not have any responsibility, and I definitely don't advocate getting involved in a relationship just to have kids or what have you. But I think our "me" generation is learning something, both rich and poor. We're learning about the importance of community. We have a desire to belong to something, and because we all still believe in the inherent goodness of America, this is one way in which we can contribute to that. I'm still fleshing out the idea of the goodness of the new baby boom, in that I hope it can be more equitable than the last. I don't want to see positive economic growth influence a selfish pattern of development in which everyone has "got his." And I don't think we will. The rise of urban living will hopefully make the new baby boom more equitable for rich and poor, improving the communities that people from all economic backgrounds live in.

I know a guy at work who swears off having kids. In his case, it is definitely the right choice. Mark knows what I'm talking about! ;)

Sure there might be a baby boom, but speaking from a PhD candidate perspective ... is this a good thing? Think about the movie "Idiocracy" without the crazy extrapolation. The poor unfit people are having way more kids than those who are focusing on their carrers in their 20s. So what we are having is a few people with "normal" talents and many with below average skills due to lack of resources and nurture of them as kids. I look around me and see very few people I know having kids and all would make excellent parents. Some even swear of having kids and those would probably be the best parents of all. The baby boom is even a deeper division than the rich and poor.

Congrats to Yahoo Sports for post number 50 (although I instructed Steve to delete one post from Ken when he had accidentally put a subject in place of the name field, so Noah got the real 50th post... but thanks Ken, 'cause that prompted us to make these posts more consistent with the rest of the site!)

Ummm... it seems that ESPN has finally seen the light, and is offering free fantasy baseball. The switch from Yahoo is tempting, but I feel like I've been mistreated for having it take them so long to make it free... plus the ESPN homepage has reached the point where it takes 4 supercomputers to load all the Flash and video components. I would lose 10 minutes of every day just waiting for pages to load.

Fantasy Baseball starts up Feb 15th! Better start your draft order quickly!

that I was strict by lightening!

I couldn't agree more. Its ashamed how illetterate this society's been coming.

The quality, the breadth of subject matter, the sheer wit that I find at dimebrothers is without rival on the worldwide web. Would that it really were groundhog day so I could read for the first time all over again...

We'll get him yet! We won't be foiled again! Wu ha ha ha! If it weren't for that addicting Solitaire game, we might have noticed the Jewel in the evidence closet!

Oh, I'd love to attend. I think it'd be a riot. I'd just hope that the poem they read would actually reflect sunny/cloudy conditions, regardless of whether or not the giant rat was actually allowed to look for his shadow (livin' the fat life at a nearby zoo, not even working most of the year, mutter mutter...).

Of course it's fake. You sound surprised in this fact. G-hogs day is all about the show, kinda like wrestling. They have the cooked up poem to recite that day. No way would they be that clever to come up with a witty 4 liner on the spot. Nevertheless there is a lot to the show with fireworks and lots of booze. I was going to go this year, but one of my friends had to cancel and the thing fell through. Face it, if you lived near Punxy and had a chance, you might go too! :)

I'm totally sick of studying the Chicago D. I'll just plan on throwing 2 interceptions, and countering those with 2 touchdown passes. That ought to be enough to beat those Bears.

A new Bandana Man will soon make its appearance. I will not announce a date, though. I'm not as bold as J.K. Rowling (for you Harry Potter fans, the last book is out on July 21st, 2007).

You know, doin' stuff, sayin' things.

I like stuff.

It's been a week since you posted an article! Where have you been, man?!

I have a couple coworkers who just had a hilarious conversation. Person 1 - "I can remember the 50 states in alphabetical order." Person 2 - "I can remember the 7 dwarves most of the time." Insanely funny at the time. Ummm... ya had to be there.

I went to Derby CT's Board of Aldermen meeting last night and got to hear the State of the City address from the mayor. Pretty neat. Is it customary for an administration to wipe clean the city's hard drives before the next administration takes over? That's what had happened....

The sweet nectar of an article is coming your way soon! Don't despair, website!

The process to get into the foreign service is changing. This quote is stolen from the US Foreign Service website: "This process will be faster and more easily accessible. It will take a comprehensive view of a candidate's full range of practical experience and knowledge, leadership skills, and critical thinking abilities. To be available completely online, the first offering is scheduled for summer 2007." They used to offer written exams in the Spring. We are now taking bets that "Summer 2007" turns into "Spring 2008", since the testing revisions are in the hands of independent contractors. Of course, we hope that doesn't happen, but I have visions of I-95 construction....

Thanks to Steve for updating the message board so messages now appear with a subject line, just as the articles do. Consistency is good.

On another note, 3 square feet to bury pieces of paper - genious! Can I invest in Barry Bonds?

Do what you will with your 401k/IRA. Might I suggest Bonds? I have 5 acres split into 3 ft2 plots. You can place certificates in a rutabaga shaped jar, and bury them in one said plot. For a nominal one time fee.

Da Bears!

I love tax time - have I told you that yet? If you can be claimed as a dependent, hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat. What does it mean, "if you can be claimed"???? It should say, if you ARE being claimed as a dependent. The Federal Internal Wordiness Bureau of Revenue Taxation needs an overhaul.

Wouldn't the Saints versus the Colts be a much more highly anticipated Super Bowl than the Bears-Colts? I think the offense versus offense angle makes for better hype.

That didn't make sense, but what I was trying to say was that no one has tried to e-mail me because of my lack of writing here.

No one has tried to e-mail me... Every time that I've tried to write something, I get about 75% of the way through it and then end up hating what I've written! (and then quit, of course)

Thanks for fixing my account though! Maybe I could do an expose on the dating life of a 28 year old dude... but that would probably decrease the readership... Such is life.

To anyone who tried to email Paul Best through this site - it didn't work. The glitch has been fixed, however, and you should now be able to.

Those savings accounts in my understanding have limited withdrawls and moving around. I think that's why a "money market" with crappy interest is way more popular.

E*trade is now offering a savings account with 5.05% interest. FYI. (HSBC and Emigrant Direct were the other two I was aware of.)

Why wouldn't Michael Vick have just mailed himself that water bottle? Why do athletes do such stupid things?! (Don't do drugs!)

And where on earth was our Mom's homemade macaroni and cheese?! I'm telling! (And lambchops? Where were they?!)
: )

Bacon Youtube

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qi2aCSfhvKg

That food list is bunk... Bacon, man, bacon...

There is not, nor ought there be a food so exalted on the face of God's great earth, as that prince of foods: The Muffin!

Perhaps the 20 cal per hint of lime chips is an approximation. I have never seen them report calories unless it ends in a 5 or zero. So maybe its closer to 15 cals per chip. So if you ate 3 chips for 60 cals, maybe the 4th chip is free. Great math. Hell ya.

Hey man, I was just trying to kick your wings up a notch. BAM! BAM! You are all over the place with your list. Chips, wings, eclairs?? How about a top 5 snack food items, top 5 desserts, top 5 stews made with wild game? Oh yeah babe, now you're talking.

Thanks Ken, for your thoughts! I just posted a question on About.com regarding taxes, and it was answered in a day. The question was: I sold some stock that I got for free from a class-action lawsuit. Is my "purchase price" 0, even though I didn't purchase anything? It is 0, but H&R Block got that wrong, too.

I hear you on the investment woes. I thought I was investing in some money market back in 2003 to help pay for the upcoming wedding. Turns out it is a brokerage account and I have to pay 40 bucks a year just to have it. Worst of all HSBC brokerage put 1/3 of my money in .... HSBC stock. Since 2003 that money went from 1k to 1,150. So if I include my fees in that stock. 1/3 of my investment made no money at all. Luckily the other 2/3 was wisely invested and I made some money there ... but seriously if I had the CD rates currently back in 2003, I would have been fine I think investing in a CD. There is WAAAY to much idiocracy in investing.

Can't . . . stop . . . reading . . . Paul N character . . . articles!!! They're too darn witty!

If you read anything by that Paul N character, you're no friend of mine! Ooga ooga!!! (please see his ranting article of 1-1-07 for why this is funny.)

I hope y'all are catching the Lingo marathon on GSN!

Thanks to Ken for the term "auto-shaft". He's a fiance to a sister of a friend, which practically means we're brothers. And by the way, I was 2nd place in baseball last year, behind that Paul Best guy by a half point. And yes, I can count to two, too. I'll prove it - One, Three.... D'oh!

Why would anyone want to take baseball advice from you? What place did you end up in last year's fantasy league? Oh yeah... you probably can't count that high! Excellent quote from Adam.

Merry Christmas! ...belated. It's like I'm posting this in the same manner that I buy Christmas presents - late! Yo bro! Your present is coming sooner or later! : ) (I broke man law by putting a smiley face.)

I just thought there needed to be another message here. People, just click on the "Sign Message Board" title (or whatever it says) and post away to your heart's content. Woop woop. ("Woop woop" was a favorite saying of Winton Marsalis' cousin, who I met in prison. Actually, it was from another inmate. I just wanted to name-drop. I'm despicable.)

I don't think we are fooling anyone with the first installment of The Mailbag... We're fooling EVERYONE! (That wasn't funny, but I'm too lazy to erase it.)

This site is off the shizzle my nizzles!

The dates should now be correct in both the 3rd and 4th dimension.

You're not thinking 4th dimensionally. This is normal in 4-D. You're so 3-D. (click with the tongue and exhale sound)

Uh, the date seems to change to always be today's date, even though some of these posts were made yesterday.

We might think about being able to post after each article, and still keeping a general message board.

And I'm assuming you meant IPs, refering to the number of computer IPs that have viewed our site? Anyhoo...

Is it possible to have people put comments on each posting? That way all 18 unique ISPs can discuss each article. (I'll work on getting a 19th.)

Yeah! Our board is working! Steve, you are the man! Hey everyone - post to your heart's delight!

Very amusing. I have to admit that I'm particularly fond of the Bandana Man antics. Keep 'em coming, and I'll keep reading 'em.