07 Feb 2010
If you're on the cusp of or just recently became a parent, you'll likely end up reading a bunch of books on parenting. That's the case for me and my wife, and I've learned a great deal from a variety of books. I'm now ready to provide you with the outline to every book I've read. This also serves to guide you in the writing of your own parenting book.
Chapter 1. Every other book gets it wrong.
A. Somehow people have managed to raise their children for eons without my book.
B. Every book out there argues either for extreme Y or opposite extreme Z.
C. Mine is the solution you'll need.
Chapter 2. I'm so reasonable. My book has all the answers.
A. In my book I'll share secrets that have been used through the ages.
B. Did I mention I'm a parenting expert?
C. ... and that you're not?
D. There are multiple things you can do to calm your baby and be a good parent.
E. I'll be outlining those awesome tricks throughout my book.
Chapter 3. You're doing it wrong.
A. You're doing it all wrong. Why aren't you following my advice?
B. Oh yeah, I haven't shared any advice yet. That's coming in later chapters.
C. Make sure to read my whole book. It's really good!
Chapter 4. Actual Content.
A. Great tip #1.
B. Great tip #2.
C. Great tip #3."
Chapters 5-9.
A. Rehash of my awesome advice.
B. Comforting words such as, "It's okay - not everyone can be as awesome as me!"
C. I can't believe you read this far since this whole book could've been condensed into a pamphlet.
D. I can't believe you've read this far, since it's likely only about 4 pages pertained to you.
E. I'm awesome. Make sure to buy my follow-up book that gets you through the toddler years.
Chapter 10. Appendix. (And because for you to perceive value in this book, there needs to be 10 chapters.)
A. Here's some stuff that might help you that didn't fit into my little theory of parenting.
B. Here's the contact info to someone who can really help you. I'm a hack.